When Clara moved to the North of sunny California, she had a mountain of tasks before her. From unpacking to moving the furniture to setting up the new mail address to logging into her office on time – there was too much on her plate. At 30, she was prepared for it all! But what she was not ready for, a question that stood right before her – how to make new friends in a new city?
She never was one of the ‘friendliest’ kids in the town. Also, thanks to the fact that she had an elder sister, there was never much of a need to have friends. Wait, do you somewhat mirror your situation with hers? New city, new workplace, demanding deadlines and then a lonely home to return to? Then you have searched out the ideal write-up.
Let’s do this together. Here are some tips on making new friends in a new city –
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How to make new friends in a new city with time?
Making friends in a new city – is a challenging task! Non-identical people with different mindsets are trying to find common ground to match. How would you initiate that? Theoretically speaking, if at all you do that – how would you sustain that friendship? We’ll give you the details –
1. How about trying to connect with ‘common’ friends or acquaintances?
That’s the first step you take when you are curious about how to make new friends in a new city. Even if you did not have many friends back home, some of your friends or acquaintances might know people in the city or country you just shifted to. With Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp connecting people globally, you could try to match up with their friends, seek some help, and form a community as a headstart. Once you start there, you could expand your group and start opening up to other people. Surely that would take time, but you make a move is better than nothing.
2. Getting to know people in the building
Once you are done connecting with acquaintances and friends, you could try hanging out with the other people in your building or the apartment society you have rented. There’s a beautiful tradition followed in South Korea. People get rice cakes for their neighbours whenever they move into society. In this way, they can connect with their neighbours and be a part of the society’s club that overlooks the routine matters of the housing society.
If not rice cakes, you could get something to eat, perhaps some cookies for your neighbours and introduce yourself to them when you hand over the cookies to them. As underconfident as you might be, the answer to how to make new friends in a new city rests in your taking the first step.
3. Ever tried hanging out at the local park
Given that you have a problem making friends quickly, we understand that you’re looking for answers to how to make new friends in a new city. At times, hanging out casually in a local area is an excellent opportunity to make new friends. For example, hanging out at the local park, visiting the local bar or restaurant after work, or even just walking down the society’s lawn area could lead you to make some friends within the locality.
You will mostly find people dog-walking, taking a run, or simply working out together. As much as you are scared, you can go and have a casual chat with them.
4. Bonding with colleagues is a great idea
Given that you are at a new place, one may assume you are at a new job or a new college campus. In either case, bonding with colleagues or batchmates is a great idea. To someone else, it might come naturally, but not to an introvert like you.
But once you try talking, at times, starting with something as casual as the weather, the coffee at your workplace or even your syllabus – you will soon get the hang of it. This is one of the best ways to satisfy your curiosity about how to make new friends in a new city.
5. Hosting a housewarming party
Hosting a housewarming party is fine, even if you are neither exceptionally friendly nor party-loving. You need to send a couple of emails or text messages, ring a couple of bells, arrange some finger-chips and dinner, and voila, you will soon see a coterie of people who are ready to have a conversation with you.
All you have to do now is extend those convos, reply to the messages and participate in any of their occasions or parties when they invite you. Indeed if you are not too comfortable visiting a person or two, you could excuse yourself – but not initially, atleast we suggest you try to.
6. Social media groups or book clubs
Another way to respond to how to make new friends in a new city is by joining social media groups or book clubs. You will get to meet a range of people who might share common interests with you but may have a different outlook towards the same thing.
Therefore when you exchange ideas or participate in healthy debates – there’s a chance that you can forge some great friendships in this way.
7. How about going to the local fests or activities
Another way to respond to your doubt about how to make new friends in a new city is suggesting you check out the local fests and social activities happening in and around your surroundings. This could include some local music fest, a painting activity, or even some social work activity.
You could volunteer to be a part of that and try to contribute in any minuscule way you can. As you do your work, you could catch some little talk and chit-chat over the activities. One thing will lead to another, and be assured within a short period you will have more than enough people talking to you (and some about you!)
8. Ever thought of joining a foreign language class?
If you have moved into a new city where the language is Latin to you, you could join a foreign language class. There’s a high chance that you will find other lost souls like you who would want to blend into the culture of that place and take up the foreign language class to do so.
Just in case – this is not the scenario, and you do not need a foreign language course (say it’s your native language, or you have already taken the course). In that case – you can always join any other course, maybe a local cookery class, or a handicrafts class, or for that matter, some other foreign language and connect with your co-classmates there.
Just a piece of advice before you leave
As you already know, the late 20s and 30s are no time to forge friendships if you follow the traditional thought process. In fact, check out data from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships – which clearly states that, on average, an adult (mainly in the late 20s and 30s age) takes almost 94 hours to turn acquaintances into casual friends.
In the post-lockdown social set-up, the time range has gone up. This automatically makes people curious about how to make new friends in a new city.
Therefore you will need to be patient and not go overboard in the process of finding friends. Indeed, there are multiple apps these days, which would help you connect better, but for every revert, you need to give some time and space to the other person. Keep your pace slow and steady; you will soon have friends who will have your back!
When you see a better part of life, incorporating changes or introducing new members to one’s life becomes difficult. It is due to this that most people are scared and refrain from engaging in close relationships. Therefore the dilemma comes – how to make new friends in a new city?
If you follow the steps mentioned in this write-up, we assure you that you will become adept at making friends quickly. If you are looking for updates on the same, keep watching this space for more!
Monalisa Mukherjee is a content writer and copywriter with close to 3 years of experience. She has written for websites like Biography Talk, Contour Cafe, He And She Fitness and Fiction Pad. She is currently associated with a noted Digital Marketing Agency and specialises in writing articles for travel, entertainment, cooking, celeb, lifestyle, tech, health, fashion and film news.