If you are checking out this page, looking desperately for answers to when to leave a relationship, for starters – we empathize with you. You must be standing at one of the most critical points in your life and trying to make one of the most challenging decisions. Surely, this would change the course of your life (we sincerely hope for the better). But to make and execute it is difficult. It’s alright. Let us guide you in the path of making this decision, in whichever little way we can under certain set criteria.
In this article, we have considered 3 cases of leaving a relationship – how to decide when a child is involved, how to detach from an alcoholic or an addict, and finally, how to distance oneself from a depressed individual. Whichever situation you are in – you may take up some tips from here to apply in your real-life scenario. Also, we will give you some tips on self-healing after your traumatic experience.
Let’s show you a path toward a better life –
Case 1 – When to leave a relationship when a child is involved?
Amongst all the decisions that you may have taken in your life, leaving a relationship when a child is involved is definitely the toughest and most crucial one that you could have made.
The way a broken relationship or violence-riddled house affects children is unparalleled and at times they are emotionally (often physically) scarred beyond repair. However, one cannot deny that to save some of whatever is left, more than often, people need to make a complex decision like this.
So, when is that ‘time’ to leave a relationship?
You must walk out
- If you and your spouse are the ‘problem’ every time and rather than concentrating on the ‘actual problem,’ you are constantly blamed, or both of you are playing the ‘blame – game’, thereby prolonging the issue.
- Do your kids feel neglected by your spouse? Can they simply not approach him or her since they are constantly fearful of them?
- Are the partners constantly negating each other, and there is consistent tension in the family scenario affecting the mental peace of one and all?
- If there is a situation of domestic violence, sexual violence (on the female individuals of the house), child abuse, or any other scenario like this.
- If there is alcohol or substance abuse, drug, and related issues.
How to go ahead with the decision?
1. Start by explaining it to the kids –
You have to discuss the situation with them and take them into confidence. They need to comprehend that this is neither normal nor acceptable and therefore, they will have to move out to better their future. The decision of when to leave a relationship is tough but has to be made at the correct time.
2. Get the finances clear –
You will need to be able to afford the basics before you decide to step out. Most people stay in abusive relationships simply because of economic dependence.
3. Forgive and forge a new path –
Once you are done working on the first two areas, try forgiving and forging out a new path. Forgiving is difficult and almost next to impossible but crucial for self-healing.
You will not have it easy for sure, but definitely – this will forge a new path for you to follow.
Case 2 – When to leave a relationship with an alcoholic or addict?
They have stated over a thousand times that they would change and quit, but alas! No change is to be seen! This addiction has been harming your relationship for a while now, perpetrating violence at multiple levels, and you are perhaps too scared to move out.
But, as stated before – every ‘toxic’ relationship needs to end at one point in time, and if things do not look to become better than what it was beforehand – you will have to decide on when to leave a relationship like this and how.
You must walk out
- If there is violence involved – ranging from sexual to physical to emotional.
- Are you the enabler of the addict? It’s time to leave!
- If there is no actual desire to change, or if they are constantly putting down visiting the therapist.
- Is there a consistent insecurity in the relationship? Is there lying, mistrust, and consistent jealousy?
- Are they involved in some illegal activity? Do they have no respite from the same?
If you find yourself involved in one way or another in any of the above-mentioned scenarios, it is time-up for you in this relationship.
How to go ahead with the decision?
Another of the tough decisions you have to make is because the person may be ‘dependant’ on you, and you are left in the lurch thinking – ‘what will happen if you leave?’ Additionally, there is a sense of care left, and the one looking to end the relationship is constantly thinking – who will take care of them after the partner leaves?
However, there are times you need to put yourself ahead and walk out of this toxicity before it damages your self-worth any further.
1. Wait till they are sober –
There’s no chance of them understanding anything when they are high; therefore you will have to wait till they sober up before you rationally talk about the decision to part ways.
2. Do not hold a grudge but do not give in either –
There is no point in holding a grudge against an alcoholic or addict. Whatever might have been their reasons, it is time for you to get over it. Also, they might plead with you to give in and trust them for the last time.
Refrain! They had promised before and broke them, and they will do it again. It’s a pattern. Therefore do not let your emotions get over you and rather decide rationally.
3. Put your safety first –
There are chances that an addict or an alcoholic may harm you, harm themselves, or even threaten to do the same. In that case, stay safe and break up with them at some public place or in the presence of someone where your safety is not compromised.
Leaving an alcoholic comes with its set of issues. However, for a better life – you need to make this quick and ensure that there are no lead-ons left for you with regard to that person.
Case 3 – When to leave a relationship when they are in depression?
For those who don’t know – if you are facing any of these symptoms, such as irritability, lack of concentration, fatigue, change in appetite and regular sleep routine, or a certain sense of helplessness – for more than 2 weeks, you may already have clinical depression.
If you are the ‘other half’ in that relationship, there is a high chance that all of their aggression and helplessness are directed at you, and you may have been bearing the brunt of it for a long time now. Let’s check out when to leave a relationship riddled by such toxicity –
You must walk out
- In case you are always the ‘enemy’ despite your repeated attempts to help the person.
- If the person is simply not ready to acknowledge that something is wrong in the relationship.
- Avoiding topics – from discussions to decisions to any kind of physical or emotional intimacy.
- In case the person is constantly isolating himself to the point of you becoming their punching bag, not knowing how to move ahead.
It will be a heartbreaking move to make, and perhaps you will be in permanent guilt about the same. However, you have to prioritize yourself.
How to go ahead with the decision?
1. Do not be hasty –
You have to comprehend that the other person’s mental condition is not at its best. In this case, if you rush things, it could drive the other person to the end of their wits – not an acceptable situation. Therefore, set a deadline and work towards that.
2. Consider the practical implications –
When you are parting ways under such circumstances, you must remember that there will be drama; at times, you might feel helpless, watching the other partner swirl into an abyss. Seek help from a specialist and make a move.
What are some tips on self-healing?
Do you now have a better idea about when to leave a relationship? Hoping you are able to act on the same, here are some tips which you may follow to heal from the trauma that you have faced in your personal life.
1. Concentrate on loving yourself first
As selfish as it may sound, and whether you like it or not – prioritizing oneself is crucial. You need to put yourself before taking care of others. You must emotionally secure yourself before investing in someone else’s emotions. Only when you are in a happy place will you be able to assist others.
2. Work on yourself
This is the first step towards self-healing. In all this time that you were in that toxic relationship, it goes without saying that you were not able to take care of yourself. Now that you can, work towards bettering your mental and physical health. Exercise well, add some yoga steps to the same, change your diet, and surely set up a schedule. If you manage to get some time – start jotting down your daily thoughts.
3. Look out for career opportunities
If you are working, then it is time to concentrate more on the professional front. If not, it is time to look out for career opportunities. No, the experts do not suggest becoming a workaholic, but surely learning some new aspects of your professional life – will help you in moving ahead despite the aggressive competition from your peers.
4. Take up a new hobby
Making a decision about when to leave a relationship and actually walking out of one requires excessive effort. Once done with that, now that you are on the path of healing, experts suggest taking up a new hobby or reinvesting your time in an old one. This will help you divert your attention productively and drive your life in a better direction.
Deciding when to leave a relationship and finally executing it is no easy job. It is an exhausting decision, both mentally and physically. Hence, act on your decision at the earliest and make way for yourself before you are scarred emotionally for a lifetime. May you heal and become a better version of yourself. If you want more tips and strategies on how to cope with such difficult times – keep checking this website for more write-ups on self-love and healing.
Monalisa Mukherjee is a content writer and copywriter with close to 3 years of experience. She has written for websites like Biography Talk, Contour Cafe, He And She Fitness and Fiction Pad. She is currently associated with a noted Digital Marketing Agency and specialises in writing articles for travel, entertainment, cooking, celeb, lifestyle, tech, health, fashion and film news.