Erectile Dysfunction. Hey, as embarrassing as you might think it might be – it’s definitely not a dirty word, and it can happen to anybody, no matter what age they are or what stage of their life they are in. It’s something that’s pretty common among guys, in fact, from what I’ve heard it’s one of the most common sexual things that is brought up by men at the docs. So, how do I know all this? Well, as fate would have it, it happened to me…
I was 34 and had been single for some time when I met Kate again. A girl I used to be mates with in my early 20s suddenly popped up in Nearby friends on my Facebook notifications, so I took it as a good excuse to drop her a message. It had been about six years since I’d caught up with her last when she was living in Sydney, and I was a whirlwind stop. I ended up hooking up with her housemate at the time and had a glorious 3-day fling, hanging out with her and Kate and tearing up the city.
Since then, Kate had gone on to living overseas as far as I had heard, and funnily enough, I was now the one living in Sydney. After flicking Kate a message, she seemed keen to come and hang out with me and my mates that Sunday arvo, so about half an hour later, there she was on my doorstep. After a few hours hanging out, I realised that I’d misjudged Kate – she wasn’t just a fun chick to chill out with, she was the type of chick that I could see myself with.
About ten beers later and I realised that Kate was thinking the same thing I was. We stayed up chatting the whole night and made plans to catch a gig later in the week when she left in the morning – she’d just moved back to Sydney to launch an online label, so it was perfect timing.
We fell into dating and eventually fell into bed. But unlike the random hookups that I’d been having I really, really liked Kate – I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. However, instead of this getting me rock hard. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect. To me, there was so much pressure that I’d put on myself, put on this working out, feeling like, “oh my god, this is the one”, that I had trouble getting hard and then keeping an erection.
It didn’t help that I knew Kate was quite sexually liberated. I knew she was a little disappointed, even if she didn’t let on. I did, of course, compensate in other ways, but as weeks wore on and it kept happening, I knew that it was something I needed to get on top of if our relationship was going to keep progressing further – and trust me, I definitely wanted it to!
I toddled off to the doctor, with the little blue pill in my mind, but wondering if that was the answer overall or if there was something more that I could do too. The doctor was very understanding, saying that it happens to heaps of guys, for heaps of reasons – health problems like diabetes and high blood pressure, psychological problems like depression, and yep, cases like mine too. He gave me some medicine to help get over the line in the bedroom but also recommended getting along to a counsellor (and gave me a referral, too), so that I could get past the problems that were holding me back.
Well, guys, I am happy to say that after the combo of medicine to help me get through those first times, and then some subsequent counselling sessions to work through things, that I did indeed manage to get over that initial “hump” so to speak.
Kate and I have now been going strong for three and a half years and feel like our lives have only just begun. Our sex life is probably better than most of our friends, and I am so thankful that I sought help at the beginning – who knows what would’ve happened if I didn’t.
If you’re in your 30s and feeling like you’re having problems getting or keeping an erection I highly recommend seeking help. The sooner that you do it, the sooner that you can get your sex life back on track – which is definitely worth it!